One Entry
by ffdotnetdreams
Summary: A samurai longs to confide in only his journal when it comes to love. A woman desires otherwise.
1. A Discription of Love

It is best to hear Kenshin's personal description of Kaoru in his diary.

"_If words can duplicate the image that has blessed my eyes, I will take it upon myself to use their wonder. This picture, rather vision, of frivolous enjoyment is none other than her honorable hostess, Lady Kaoru. Troublesome, emotional sufferings have overcome my very heart with the need to manifest a document that declares her magnificent person to be the one whom I love."_

He taps his pen against his paper at this point. Tilting his lean face upwards and puckering his mouth in a thoughtful expression, Kenshin breaths deeply.

Gentle but firm words stir in his bones, and he lifts his pen again.

"_Perhaps, this is the very moment I am obligated to bestow my reasons for this violent affection. Having contemplated Lady Kaoru, it is fitting to withhold the descriptions of her finest qualities until the last moment. I shall start with her face, if I dare. Her eyes are the very essence of honey. They are quite lacking in acidity or sourness, and are devoid of corrosive substances. Smile or frown, I find her character to be neat. One time we went skating and it was fun. Her hands are like maple syrup drizzled over gooey pancakes."_

Once again, Kenshin drops his writing utensil. Hesitantly he rises from his office chair and sneaks past his coworkers. After grabbing some pancakes from IHOP for an hour, Kenshin returns, his soul and mind still on fire with a diary entry to write.

"_I can scarcely start on her hair. Blinding folds of chalybeous silk haunt me during the hours she is no longer in view. Upon imagining her stature, I understand that her charms flow from not only within but without."_

Kenshin swivels his chair. "Without"? He shrugs, eagerly recognizing that he means well so it should not matter whether the word "without" was misused or not. He sets back to work.

"_Her charms are not merely physical representations, however they are portals to inner traits. Portals that allow people such as myself to wonder at the great mysteries that are essential to the backbone of her personality. The further I stare at her lovely eyebrows the more I consider what possessed her to pluck them so? There I have proven the portals between physical attributes and inner qualities. I am in a true state of being pleased."_

Feeling overcome by swelling confidence and pride due to his discovery, Kenshin decides to take a break before his own diary entry accidentally ends up being about himself. That could get ugly. Without warning Kenshin's pathetic "you got mail" alert calls out. Swiveling to his computer, Kenshin clicks his mouse a couple times and waits thirty minutes for the next page to load. Lo and behold, the specimen herself, that Kenshin had been marveling, has graced this unsuited lowly man with a virtual letter via email. He opens it. Another thirty minutes later, he reads:

Dear Kenshin,

You assistance is the only one that I would think to ask for. I need help. Meet me at midnight.

Always on Good Terms,

Kaoru


	2. Blissful Beginning Wounding Discovery

Kenshin's eyes dialate in the dark at the sight of his anticipated love. She elegantly holds her chin high, her eyes turned towards the tree branches tangled with the stars. It is an enrapturing image to behold.

"Lady Kaoru," Kenshin vocally communicates. Reversing her position to address Kenshin, Kaoru symbolizes her thoughts with a frown. Delicately placing his feet upon the wooden bridge, which Lady Kaoru stands on, Kenshin drifts closer. "I must know the identity of your vexation, my most trusted lady."

"Mr. Himura, it is most difficult for one to simply inform another person of the complicated things that ail them. Indeed I am unwell." She daintily speaks. Kenshin then wonders what else he might add to his diary after this night of seeing the object of his infatuation. _'Her voice begs of an audience whose sole purpose is to wait prior to the dreams it plants each time it resonates.'_ It would be marvelous. "Mr. Himura?"

"Ah, yes. 'Unwell'. Whatever shall we do?" Kenshin quickly expresses the depths of his concerns for her health, allowing the thoughts of his diary to tickle his brain cells.

"Kenshin, I have yet to confess what has caused my unwellness." Kaoru tilts her amiable face a little to the left. Kenshin assures the lady with an "mm-hm". She replies with, "I'm in a muddle. Wisdom seems to fabricate itself from within you. I seek that wisdom."

"Of course you may request anything of me. I would lend you my life if you wished." Murmurs Kenshin, saddened that she must ask so formally. They were close friends after all. At this moment, unruly desires for trust and understanding rise in his heart like the phoenix. Concerned with other subjects on his mind, he quiets his internal conflict, and watches Kaoru's ball gown flutter like flower petals as she smiles into the midnight breeze.

"Comfort has cascaded onto my soul already, merely by your sweet words." She pleasantly says.

"How lovely. Please tell me about your muddle." Kenshin also curves his mouth into a smile.

"I trust you as I trust my own ears." Kenshin nods at this comment, understanding that Kaoru's secrecy is understatedly most important. She continues, "It is easiest said, if said quickly. Sanosuke and I conversed lately. We are to be wed."

He swallows. His heart hastens its angry beat. Sanosuke?

"What circumstances brought this unthinkable thing to life?" Voiced the dismayed man. To be silent about such a notion would destroy what Kenshin was raised on: guts.

"I thought you, being my closest friend, might predict it." Kaoru's voice leaks with anxiety and Kenshin suddenly feels anxious as well.

"I did not." He speaks the honest truth from his lips. Tears begin to spill over his cheeks.

"Kenshin, why must you be sorrowful? Is Sanosuke not also our most loyal friend?" With care she places her warm hand on his now heaving shoulder.

"That is precisely the reason you witness tears being born from my eyes." Kenshin droops his head into the windy night. Sanosuke is marrying Kaoru… His best friends are marrying. His thoughts drift to the note book that lies open on his desk at work. There is plenty to write about.


	3. A Declaration of War to One's Self

Late that night, Kenshin attempts to write more.

_O mirror of my own heart, my diary, if I use you ill for the sake of my wrath, I_—

"Mr. Himura?" a voice interrupts him. Kenshin finds that Ms. Takani waits before him in the entrance of his office. What a peculiar thing it is for two people to find themselves in such an awkward state. "I did not anticipate seeing you here…"

"Nor I, you." Spoke the curious man. Swiveling his chair to converse properly rather than over his shoulder, Kenshin hastily wonders if his appearance would reveal his emotions. He had been crying. Gradually Kenshin sees that he is unsettled and his temper threatens to flare. He's not sure if it's due to his traitorous friends or the secretly unwelcomed intruder who has suddenly diverted his attention.

After swiveling his seat back to his diary, Kenshin realizes that Ms. Takani is vocalizing something else that Kenshin fails to gather. With a turn of his chin in her direction, he speaks, "Yes, good miss, what was that you spoke? I'm sorry I have not attended what you were telling me."

"I said, 'it's funny that we're both here right now'. I was just working late, caught a glimpse of that neat little book you're writing before you got here." Flirtatious giggles escape the lips of Ms. Takani, the lips Kenshin has no desire for.

"You infiltrated my work space?" The words ungracefully clump together like dry mud.

"No, I didn't mean to." She lies. Kenshin knows when people lie. Indelicately lacing one foot out the door she says, "I'll see you in tomorrow, Mr. Himura."

She leaves. He instantly writes again.

_What a bother! To think my friends, three of them at present, Ms. Takani now too, have all internally harmed me with their unfeeling ways. The necessity for apologies to Lady Kaoru for disapproving of her shocking choice does not exist. I will not be saddened for expressing the furthering disgust growing inside of my heart. The love I have dreamt of obtaining for years will be out of reach, yet so near in the arms of someone who I once trusted. Sanosuke_-

Sanosuke…. Kensin's introspection now boils in him. He makes a decision and scribbles more words.

_Sanosuke must be approached. I will fight him. I will marry Kaoru._

Splintering moonlight falls over his eyes. As bright as the light from the sky may be, Kenshin's lutescent irises out shine it like the sun out shines a lightning bug. Kenshin bitterly leaves, forgetting his pen and paper.


	4. A Lovely Lady Suffers Heartache

Until this time we have only witnessed the sentiments of Mr. Himura.

According to Lady Kaoru, she was in a muddle. What was this muddle? Had she truly expressed that which she wished to her darling friend, Kenshin?

Perhaps observing her now will clear up a few answers, perhaps not.

Presently, Lady Kamiya Kaoru lounges luxuriously across her satin, cushioned chaise, feeding her heart with reassurance and her stomach with ice cream.

"Grand Duchess Kamiya, I beseech you to set aside these tragic wallowings. Your heart has taken up dwellings with hopeless desires." Implores Kaoru's personal chef and friend, Tae. Disheartened with herself, Kaoru loosens her fingers from the spoon she gripped so tightly allowing it to clink against the delicate china.

"I know." Cracks of her voice shred through the air destroying the illusion of gracefulness that people associate her with. She is aware of it too.

"Ice cream in the morning is hardly worth the lipid you'll become." Tae continues, although she inwardly believes she would also eat it if she were the Grand Duchess.

"Tae," Kaoru whispers sadly, "I fear I've lost more than I bargained for."

Tae gazes at her patiently, allowing young Kaoru to continue.

"Kenshin…He was so displeased. He surely looks on the decision I've made with contempt. I've lost my closest friend, Tae." Her words clot in her throat as she struggles to keep talking, "Sano needs me, though."

"It will never be my place to correct you, my lady. However, I do believe the man you have chosen is neither of noble heritage, nor employed, nor the one you love." It's an unthinkable thing for Tae to speak so to Kaoru, and the Duchess realizes it. Kaoru thoughtfully shrugs, remembering her friendship with her servant.

"On account that Mr. Himura did not attend to my needs nor lend me his wisdom the previous night, Tae, I am burdened even more heavily with my confusion." Tears leak, and drizzle, and run down the face we readers secretly know Kenshin would give his life to touch.

"Sweet lady, do not seek comfort from the one who troubles you most." Gentle warnings form from Tae's mouth. "You must have already considered that you need to find assistance from another."

"Of course I have." Kaoru sorely gathers her wits, and wills herself to make up her mind. But who would advise her best? She tangles herself in her thoughts. Tae speaks again.

"It would have to be someone who knows the two men in question very well." Tae prods. Kaoru's eyes, skies of breathtaking cerulean, light up. The fog clears and she knows exactly who to speak to.

"Tae, my man-servant waits on me outside my door. Summon him for me." Kaoru orders. Moments later her servant shows himself. "I wish to see Mr. Yahiko Myojin."

She waits for the process of seeing the young man, and meanwhile she confides in herself that she will share her troubles with Yahiko to relieve herself, but she will not act on them until or unless the one she loves does so.


	5. Friendship is a Difficult Ailment

"Let me obtain your thoughts on my troubles, Yahiko." Kaoru earnestly begs. In the illumination of sunlight, Yahiko installs himself in Kaoru's parlor, on one of her many expensive sofas.

"What troubles?" Yahiko seems cold and harsh, however it is not too difficult for one to learn of his true insightful and caring nature.

"As you are aware, I have no family to approach, and no one else in proximity to converse about my emotions." Explains the Duchess. Yahiko's eyebrows crunch together; he visually grows defensive due to her last statement. Kaoru is aware that it unnerves him to take part in such personal affairs. Her words move on, "The event that I told Kenshin about my engagement depicted me as a failure. He clearly regarded it with displeasure. I may safely assume Kenshin no longer desires any company of mine."

"Wait, what?" Yahiko snarls with a jerk of his head in her direction. "What did he do exactly?"

"He cried." She threatens to do so herself just by speaking about it.

"And you need my help to figure out what to do?" Creases form between the boy's lower eyelids and cheeks. Unbeknownst to Kaoru, but now known to us, Yahiko sees quite clearly that Kenshin must have been upset that his friend, Sanosuke, stole his Kaoru. Kaoru, this very second, believes Kenshin looks down on her, horrendously disgusted by her choices in life. Embarrassment tingles through her veins. "It's pretty obvious to me!"

Catching her breath, Kaoru foresees that her young friend is moments away from blessing her with his observations. She urges him to tell her.

"I say that you've strung along two losers who aren't worth calling 'men'." Dark reflections of disappointment once again creep through the young woman's heart, disappointment of a different sort though. The earlier sort of disappointment, the one she felt when Kenshin cried and didn't specify why, was more like hoping for honey in a hive, but finding a large swarm of flies instead. Her current disappointment was easily compared to when a child has misplaced their favorite whistle for months and one day finds it in their back pocket. She is ashamed of her predicament. Yahiko is offering little help to her.

"You must have justification for uttering so, even though I vacillate on it." Kaoru insists that Yahiko explain, refusing to back away from his coarse words. Yahiko stares blankly at her for a moment, his eyes slowly wondering away. He looks confused. He mouths the words she had just spoken, moves to one of her bookshelves, and after flipping through the contents of one of her numerous neglected books, he returns.

"Had to look up 'vacillate'." Kaoru nods. This is a common occurrence between them. It turns out not all the books in her palace are neglected. Yahiko speaks, "Look, Kaoru, we should start with the first problem. Who cares about Kenshin right now? What about Sanosuke? I can't believe you would marry that dead weight, jerk who can't even figure out how pay his rent! Why? I don't get it! And before you start talking, I'm gonna' talk about Kenshin. Yeah, Sano's worthless and we both know no one should ever marry him, but if Kenshin is such a girl that he has to blubber about you tying the knot with his best friend, then he's even worse. At least Sano tries to get what he wants."

"Yahiko!" Kaoru gasps. Yahiko's stare keeps staring. He means every word of it. 'What he wants?' It's abundantly clear that the marriage will be more beneficial to Sanosuke than to herself, but she accepted that when they spoke about it. 'What Kenshin wants?' "Yahiko, I haven't the slightest whim what Kenshin wants. If he wanted something from me, I'm sure he would have said so. The night he showed me his state of regret over my marrying Sanosuke, I believed that it was the excuse he had been waiting for to desert our friendship forever. Being friends with royalty would be a great burden after a while."

"Are you crazy? It's not that 'great of a burden'. Trust me." Yahiko stretches back on the sofa, emphasizing his point. Kaoru ignores this. Regrettably she realizes the same disappointment she felt at start of their meeting still hangs over her mind. "Kenshin's crazy about you. He's just flimsy when it comes to girl stuff."

"Yahiko, love isn't girl stuff!" Hurt by his words, Kaoru darts from her seat and thrusts her manicured hand to her heart. Yahiko rolls his eyes. "How abominably annoying it is when you write me off that way, and Kenshin too."

"So, now you defend him? Are you ever going to stand up for Sanosuke, the guy you're actually supposed to marry?" The words stab her relentlessly. "Just tell me why Sanosuke."

Sanosuke… Kaoru is angry with herself. Her mind is frazzled by the unexpected emotions that have skewered her last shreds of confidence.

"Sanosuke needs help, Yahiko. He needs me. I cannot turn down a friend whose life might be taken if he continues to live how he does." Kaoru at last confesses.

"A pity marriage. I knew it." Kaoru chokes on more tears.


End file.
